Confused... and i really do...
today had been an eventful day.. went out with her today.. and talk to her over the phone today...once again, we are still at the 'issue'.. she told mi alot of things... and all these sets mi thinking.. wat can i really do..?? i've changed so much for her... tried to cut down on my nonsense and stuff.. trying to be the one she's looking for... but there's one thing that won't changed: the fact that i'm a non-christian... read through her blog juz now and once again, i feel so useless.. i'm sure that i can fulfill all her needs, but there's one area that i can never help her in: her spiritual needs... the fact that i'm from a different yore sets mi away from her thinking.. i cant seem to reconcil our thinkings again.. cant seem to help her in any ways.. feel damn pissed by myself.. why am i a non-christian..?? wun everything be in place if i'm a christian..?? haiz... i'm veri CONFUSED..!!!
after alvin had talked to mi that day, i thought that i've been enlightened by his words.. and i've told myself to try to experience it... i've already taken such a big step towards it.. and why am i not rewarded in any way..?? from the anti-christ mi, i've compromised alot already.. until now, i'm willing to step into a church because of her.. but i cant seem to experience Him... i'm exhausted from trying to reconcil everything... should i juz give up...?? or should i persevere on...?? i dunno.. let's hope that He can provide mi with the guiding light.. so that i'll be convinced that He really exists and will help mi...
i'm really confused... haiz... nites everybody...
posted by ahfu @ 2:09 AM
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