Reflections of a wretched life

a new start...

heys...!!! havent been blogging recently... i've decided to blog... haha..
life's been a mess for mi for the past few weeks and finally, things had cleared up... everything's back to normal and are starting to settle down.. alot of thanks to my great pals who have went through this trying period with mi... thanz alot pals..!!
now, i'm starting a new life... haha... a life filled with textbooks and course packs... i've missed another RP study for my business again... arghh...!!! i keep missing them for no apparent reason... haiz.. pple onli do 2.5 hrs of RP but i'm doing 3.5 hrs.. haha.. serves me right for oversleeping and poor memory.. haha.. projects, presentations, essays are piling up on me.. dunno how to finish them.. haha..
recently, i reflecting on what i've done this semester... really dunno what the hell i'm doing man... neglecting my studies.. procrastinating... haiz... why am i seeking for failure..?? damn... onli started studying on thurs... haha.. when i'm at the library, studying with wanling.. haha.. quite constructive... think cuz the test is too near liao.. no one dare to play a fool... haha.. anyway, it's over le.. haha..
finally, i went to work today... at tiong bahru... hmmm... quite a bad day... didnt manage to sell a phone the whole day... so suay... but nvm.. got consolation.. haha... gotta noe a few new frenz... haha... one guy n 2 gals... haha... n one of them is quite pretty.. oooh.. haha... and i've managed to get the 3230 at $260... haha.. good buy.. thankz to michelle, the supervisor... haha...
think i'm going to end here la... dunno wat to write liao... nite nite peeps... haha.. tata...

posted by ahfu @ 1:43 AM 0 comments

end of blessed days, now it's happy days...

on 14th feb, the clock struck 12... the cinderella hour had passed... everything was back to normal... back to their original state... the wagon turned back to a pumpkin, the horses turned back to mice... everything changed... i'm feeling wretched at that moment... on that nite, i went out with pear, lingz, van, jer, lloyd, angelin and bf (cuz i still dunno how to spell his name.. hee..). they are best pals man...!! cheering mi up when i'm down.. listening to my troubles and most imptly, taking care of mi for the whole nite... i'm really veri thankful to them... thanks pals...!!!
today, everything is over already... and things are starting to settle down...
To Esther:
hey girl... i'm glad that we've such a happy memory of the relationship... thanks for giving mi such happy memories... i've never regretted this... thanks alot.. though we cant be a couple, we can still be frenz... best of frenz... i sincerely wish u all the best for ya future... the right one will appear before u one... dun think about it anymore... if ya have any troubles, feel free to tell either mi or van or the whole group of us.. we'll be more than happy to help u... we are always sashimi...!!! take care...!!!
to van and lingz:
hey girls... thanks for standing by mi during this trying period... i'm really glad that u all provide a listening ear as i pour out all my troubles and feelings to u... i'm really glad to have frenz like u all... so blessed... dun worry.. i'm alright now... no longer thinking about negative things now... i'm looking forward to having fun with u all... feel free to jio mi out for outings or wat... i'll go.. haha.. i've gotta move on... i'll look for u all if i have troubles la.. dun worry... thankz once again...
to pear, jer, angelin and bf:
hey pals... thankz for coming down to accompany mi on valentine's day... for angelin and van, it should be the day that u all ought to be spending time with ya beaus, so sorry to spoil ya nite... dun scold mi ah... just let mi extend all my gratitude to u all... a big big thanks to u....
to lloyd:
hey bro... though i've not know u for long, i've already treated u like a brother... thanz for drinking with mi.. haha.. i noe that u r trying to make mi drunk so that i can forgot everything... but apparently, i cant get drunk leh... i just pretend to be drunk... as the saying goes, jiu bu zui ren, ren zi zui... haha.. anyway, thanks alot...

in all, dun worry about mi la... i'm fine now... everybody, pls take care...!!

posted by ahfu @ 11:32 AM 0 comments

the end of a long long walk....

it's 14th february..!! for me, it's the day where i break off with her... it's a sad sad sad valentine's day... after 5 months, we parted ways...
i'm feeling very miserable now... at least it's a good break off.. we can still see each other everyday... i dunno if it's a good thing or a bad thing... i cant really bring myself to end this relationship... my fren told mi if i had enjoyed the times both of us spent together, i should have no regrets... indeed, i would agree that i had enjoy the good times however, i have regrets of this relationship... i regretting why am i forced to end this relationship on the basis of different faiths..?? i wouldnt have anything to say if we cant get along or wat... i've tried so hard to fulfill every requirements already.. but she still cant accept mi for who i am... it's the church that forces us apart... but i cant really blame them... it's subjective.. and she happened to be a strong one..
i'm too tired... too tired... i should just seek eternal rest and forget about every damn thing... lonely valentine's day to mi...

posted by ahfu @ 1:32 AM 0 comments

zero confidence...

for the first time in my life, i feel very helpless and lost... like a lost sheep... i don't know what to do... the whole world seems to crumple on me... i cant take it anymore...!!!
tons and tons of things are exerting their pressure on me.. and i find it very hard for me to breath... i'm suffocating... dying soon... it's really difficult... very difficult..

posted by ahfu @ 1:25 PM 0 comments

dark days loom ahead of mi...

these few days have been the darkest period of my life... facing alot of problems suddenly.. and the most notable is my nonchalant attitude towards everybody...
finally, the dark days are over... with the possibility of coming back again soon... everything is so messed up now.. damn confused over alot of things... and it's the first time that i've had migraine in uni days... not worried about sch work but something else..
why did god play such a cruel joke on mi..? gave mi something and then threatened to take it away from mi... WHY..??
all my unhappiness are translated into the fucked-up attitude i've shown pple for the past few days... and sometimes putting up a front to assure pple that i'm alright... i cant seem share it with pple... onli until today that i've managed to get it off my heart..
hope these dark days will not continue for long... it's time to take a break liao... nite everyone..

posted by ahfu @ 1:06 AM 0 comments

a life laid with numerous obstacles...

why my life is filled with countless obstacles? and i cant see light at the end of the walk.. why is it so..? i've try my best to satisfy everyone's needs and their wants... and why am i still stuck in the middle without any progress...?? juz when i thought there's a solution, another problem arises again.. i really dont know wat to do... argh... who can help me...??
why am i bypassed everytime...?? am i of such little importance to everyone..?? i really dont know..

posted by ahfu @ 9:56 PM 0 comments